why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
