I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i came on her dog
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
