he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
This is my gift to your gina
My dick has a subreddit
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
