Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
nutella sex= disaster
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
