i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
