I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
