im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
