Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
