I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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