I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
