her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
