I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
