I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
