If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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