i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
