I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
