everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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