??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
