i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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