I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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