The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
