He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
