so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
