Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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