Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
