Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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