threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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