I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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