dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
