a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
