I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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