Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
NoShamevember. You game?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
