never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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