please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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