Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
