he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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