this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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