Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
