I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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