She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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