The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
