Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
