Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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