Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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