Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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