we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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