i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
