Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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