I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
