I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
